


Be scared and do it anyway

by ESH_es



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Lucifer (TV) Season/Series 04, Post-Devil Face Reveal to Chloe Decker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:07:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23118208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ESH_es/pseuds/ESH_es
Summary: As Chloe Decker's vacation in Europe comes to an end, she finds herself in a café in Rome, only to realise, that she is no closer to the truth than she has been before. After an eyeopening encounter she feels more positive about the devil in her life.plus What if the date in Season 4 Episode 2 went differently and she had never believed Kinley's deceptions?
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 20
Kudos: 281





	Be scared and do it anyway

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to follow my journey/ future goals and ideas for my fanfics & writing in general, head over to Instagram --> @ESH_es_writes!😁
> 
> Lots of love!

# Be scared and do it anyway.

The foreign chatter reached her ear, but her mind didn’t register it at all. He is the devil. Evil incarnate. _When the devil roams the earth, death and destruction follow. The devil belongs to hell._ Burnt, ragged skin. Gleaming eyes. _I **am** the Devil. I have never lied to you and I will never lie to you. I have been avoiding to deal with the things in the present, like - how I feel about you._

Her thoughts were spinning, spinning, never stopping, spiralling out of control. Vivid depictions of a monstrous being flashed in front of her inner eye, black, humongous, otherworldly, utterly terrifying. Evil incarnate. Brown, deep eyes wrinkled from laughter turning into incinerating flames, hot and vicious. The pressure at her temples built up, making it hard to think. Soft lips. She kissed the devil. The devil. Was hell awaiting her? _Mommy._

“Mommy?”, Trixie’s voice tore her up from under the surface back into reality. Her eyes, brown and so different than the one of the man – her partner! – claiming to be the devil. Actually being the devil. 

“Yes, Monkey?”, she forced a smile onto her lips, trying to sound calm and content, eying her daughter jumping excitedly up and down. 

“Can I play with the other kids outside? Please? Just until you finish your coffee?” 

The steaming cup of creamy, Italian cappuccino appearing in front of her. When had it arrived? 

“Which kids, Monkey?”, she leaned towards Trixie, who was now pointing outside on the cobblestone pavement, which shone dimly in the sun, where children with black curly hair and tanned skin where climbing up and down a fountain, throwing pebbles and chasing along doves. 

“Okay, but only if you promise not to go too far and come back if anything is wrong, all right?” 

“Yes, Mom!”, she grinned, “I promise!” 

Then she sped off to meet the other kids outside. She could heard the laughter and chatter. It was incredible how children could communicate without understanding each other’s languages, while adults seemed to struggle to grasp the meaning of the people closest to them. _I told you, Detective! I am the devil._ Chloe tried to occupy her restless fingers by curling them around her cup, sipping on it. The bitter flavour burst on her tongue and she sighed softly. Now that her trip was coming to an end, she still didn’t know what to think. So much evidence and so many contradictions. How could Lucifer Morningstar- her partner, who stole cool ranch puffs out of the vending machine at the precinct and wasn’t able to handle a hug of a child, be the devil. How could he be evil? Sure, he did drugs and drank so much alcohol that it was a miracle that he was even alive and had slept with probably every woman in LA aside from her (and Charlotte Richards apparently. How was she even his mother, if he was, well eons old and a son of god?) 

So many questions and yet she had seen him throw suspects through glass walls singlehandedly, choking murderers only to be held back by her. Oh, god- oh shit no, fuck. God was real. Sorry, not god. Oh, fuck. She held the devil back. She told an immortal being with super strength, who could probably rip her apart in a split second to restrain itself. She told a torturer, a punisher to hold back. Would he punish her now for that? _No._ Lucifer would never harm her. She couldn’t know, but she knew that he protected her before. But why? Why would he? If she was just a bug in his windshield, why protect her? He could have caused Nazi Germany. He could have. Her lungs hurt. She needed to breathe. Closing her eyes she inhaled the scent of roasted coffee and milk, trying to calm herself. When she opened them again her sight blurred. 

She looked up, startled, as a voice addressed her, quick Italian phrases bubbling out of the woman’s mouth. 

“I beg you pardon?”, Chloe smiled apologetically. 

“Oh, sorry”, the words layered thick with accent rolled of smiling lips, “Are you all right? You look like you are having a … hard time.” 

“I.. it’s” nothing, she wanted to say, but it would be a blatant lie. _And that is something I never wanna do. Especially to you._

“No”, it left her, before she could even think about it, “I’m not fine.” 

Dark eyes softened. 

“May I?” 

“Please”, she gestured towards Trixie’s empty chair. The woman took a seat, putting her notebook and pen onto the small table. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I… I might”, she sighed. 

“I am Maria, sorry, I didn’t introduce me.” 

“Chloe”, she answered with a small smile at the woman’s evident concern. 

“You know, Chloe, it might get better if you got it off your chest.” 

She nodded. Would she understand? Would she run and shake her head at her, believing she was delusional like she did when being told the truth. At her silence, Maria smiled and continued: “You are not from here, so where are you from?” 

“I’m from LA”, she took the olive branch, easing into less controversial topics, “I’m on a time out right now. Took my daughter on a long trip through Europe and now we’re here.” 

“That’s amazing! How was the rest of it? Where have you been? Have you been to London?” 

Chloe started telling her about her trip to Paris and England and Spain and a sudden gratefulness filled her chest, warm and comforting. She would miss the openness and kindness of Italy when she went back home. They chatted for a bit, now talking about her work (A detective? How exciting!), about the precinct and then she couldn’t help talk about him. About her partner. 

“He was the reason I left, you know?” 

“Oh, no. what happened between you two? Did you have a fight?” 

She couldn’t help but shake her head. 

“More of a revelation.” 

“Oh”, she nodded understandingly, “It always hurts if the people are not who they claim they are.” 

“That’s just the thing. He always told me the truth. And I didn’t believe him.” Distress bubbled up in her chest. She didn’t believe him. 

“Why didn’t you?”, her head was cocked to the side, her features open and genuinely interested. 

She sighed, before taking a leap and leaned forwards over the table. 

“Would you believe if your partner told you, he was the devil?” 

The dark eyes widened, not in fear, but in awe. “He is? Truly?” 

What? How could she simply… how couldn’t she … . Chloe nodded. 

“Fascinating”, she murmured, fingering with her pen in her hand. “You must understand, Chloe”, she snickered at her bewildered expression, “I am a writer. I adore the idea of the supernatural being real. So if you say your partner is the devil and you believe him, because obviously, you are a detective, you need proof, if must be true.” 

“What… how do you… how are you so sure about that?” 

A smile danced around her lips as she caught her gaze. “I am writer, Chloe, I am something like a detective myself.” 

Chloe couldn’t help but be drawn by the woman. 

“But, if you believe me, how come that you are not, you know”, hesitating, “terrified?” Why is she terrified if Maria wasn’t? How could she be so unfazed, when they were the only two beings who knew that heaven and hell were real? When the devil was walking the earth. 

“You are a good person. And if you liked him and he was your partner he must be a good person too”, she stated simply, “besides, the bible and the most stories about the devil get the most stuff wrong anyway.” 

“They do?”, eager for answers, finally answers, “Really?” 

“Sure.” 

“Is it… can we… then what is the truth?” 

Maria gave her a look she couldn’t decipher under her long black lashes. “Shouldn’t you know it best? I mean after all, the devil is your partner.” She paused for a moment letting her words sink, before she continued, “But well, the devil was an angel, before he got cast out of heaven for disobeying his father. He was quite the rebellious angel, you must know.” 

Chloe couldn’t help but laugh, amusement evident in her voice. “He still is. He never does what I tell him. Evidence gloves, you know? Not happening. Doing drugs on a crime scene? My typical Tuesday.” 

Maria snickered. “Really? He does that?” 

“Yeah. He explained kids at a transformational centre how to deal drugs once, riding a white horse, completely stoned. And then he dared to ask me what horse.” She shook her head, while letting out a sigh. “But well, it’s Lucifer.” 

“He calls himself Lucifer?”, her eyes lit up in interest. 

“Yeah. Lucifer Morningstar. I thought it was a stage name at first. I mean, who calls his child that?” 

“You know, Lucifer stems from Latin and translates to light bringer. Quite fitting if you consider that he created the stars. And it sounds better than “Samael” I guess.” 

“Samael?”, Chloe tried out the name, but it felt weird on her tongue. 

“It was his name before he fell. Venom of God. His punisher” 

She nodded, before pausing, shock rippling through her body. “He created the stars?” 

The woman opposite her laughed at her expression. “Yeah. Acting on god’s word. But he wanted more than that. He wanted free will. God didn’t like that too much. Could be the fact that he started a rebellion in heaven too, but it ended with him being cast down to hell by god to rule it for all eternity and punish evil.” 

“What kind of punishment is that?”, she asked, her voice laden with disbelief, “he wants to make his own choices and gets cast into hell? How is that just?” 

“I guess it’s not. But it’s god.” 

She sighed. When did that become her life? She didn’t even believe in god until a month ago and now she was questioning his parenting skills? Sorry. 

“That’s where the Daddy issues come from”, she murmurs. 

“Yeah, I’d have those too if my Dad put me into a place where there’s demons and flames and evil humans. I mean, being a secretary isn’t the best job either, but that?” She shook her head. 

“Do you think he enjoyed it?”, Chloe said gravely after silence that was filled with sips of coffee and soft background chatter. 

“What?” 

“Torturing and punishing the sinners in hell.” 

Maria’s eyes seemed to see right through her façade. “You should know, I mean it kinda seems like the devil is your best friend. Do you think he did?” 

Would he? Her mind races through memories, cases, anger, restraint. “I think he carries a lot of anger”, she said slowly, “and pain. And yes, I do believe he likes to see people punished, who deserve to be punished. But so do I. But torture? I don’t think so. I mean, it’s more something Maze would do.” 

“Who’s Maze?” 

“Oh, she’s my roommate. And… and apparently a demon. From hell. Who tortures people in hell”, she swallowed her coffee, “I let a demon babysit my daughter. Oh god. Fuck. Not god.” She was absolutely not freaking out right now. A hysterical laughter bubbled up in her chest. 

“Oh, wow” Maria said, her mouth gaping open, “How is your life so exciting?” 

“I don’t know”, she breathed, her head buried in her hands now, “I wished it wasn’t.” 

“Like- I really held back until now, but how cool is this? You have a demon roommate who would probably kick ass for you.” 

“-already has-“ 

“and your best friend is the devil, I mean, how cool! He’s like the boss of legions of demons and he has your back. Like how cool. If you would ever be in trouble…” 

“He would find a way”, she said realizing. _I thought you died. Oh, I did. But I got better. I will do everything in my power to fix this. I know._ A hailstorm of bullets raining down on them and yet, she didn’t have a single scratch aside from the bruise from where Pierce’s – Cain’s- men shot her. Bloody feathers decorated the marble floor like Halloween art. 

Seconds flew by, before Maria raised her voice again. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah… it’s just… I am terrified”, she admitted and now it was off her chest it was easier to breathe. Her eyes found the other woman’s, wide and vulnerable. “I am terrified, because his face, his… his other face it… it is truly unsettling. And I don’t know how to deal with that. I don’t know how to deal with the fact that I might have feelings for the fucking devil. I… I don’t know what to do.” 

“I see”, Maria said, her next words soft, “this is a bit more complicated than expected. But… I think I would talk to him. If I were you.” 

She nodded. “Yeah, I should.” 

“And about his face. What does it look like? You don’t have to tell me”, she hastened to say, “if you don’t want to. But-” 

“It’s ragged. And burnt and it looks like someone stripped you off your skin and tossed you into flames. It’s nothing but scars and it’s red and gleaming and so are his eyes. His eyes, they seem to mirror fire and flames.” A shudder ran down her spine like a wave. Her voice barely a whisper. 

“And it scares you.” 

Chloe can’t help but nod. “but I don’t want to be scared. I just don’t know … how to get rid of it. I don’t know how to face him and not be scared.” Silence. Her coffee was cold already. 

“Isn’t there a … how do you say it? When someone famous said something and …” 

“You mean a quote?” 

“Yeah, exactly, thanks. There is this quote saying be scared and do it anyway? Because you need to face your fears to overcome them?” 

“I… yes.” she should. She was a police officer for … fuck’s sake. 

“Talk to him. After all, you are a team aren’t you? Partners? Oh- I know! The devil and the detective!” 

A smile danced across her lips. She kinda liked the sound of that. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

She took a last deep, calming breath, before burying her hands in the pockets of her pants. The elevator door opened with a ding. She made sure her knees were steady as she entered the room. The way her heart squeezed was both pleasant and terrifying. There he stood. Her partner, the devil. Lucifer. Dressed in a burgundy shirt and a black suit that had to be Prada for the clicheé’s sake he stood in the middle of the room, illuminated by softly flickering candles and the glittering lights down on the street. His eyes never left her, his mouth slightly agape. 

“Hi, Lucifer”, she smiled, her voice breathless, while her heart was pumping blood through her body like her life depended on it. 

“Detective”, his stunned eyes were answer enough, “you look-“ His gaze flickered over her, “beautiful.” 

She offered him a genuine smile, that came right out of the depths of her soul. _You look good too,_ she wanted to say, but answered instead, “No white table cloth this time?” 

“Wha-“, he turned, before laughing, “No, that went down like a chopped pork at a kosher wedding. I made some adjustments.” 

She couldn’t help but snort quietly. His attempt to talk about his feelings – she knew it had been in retro perspective - did not go well. She had believed he would tell her how he felt at the time, but he didn’t. He chickened out, leaving her hopes shattered and her heart crushed pushing her right into Pierce’s arms. Now a few candles illuminated the penthouse like fairy lights draped across the furniture. The glass table in front of the couch was set, a single red rose in a vase like the one out of the beauty and the beast on it. 

“Please”, he said, as breathlessly as she felt, “sit.” It was strangely calming to know that he was as nervous as she was. Breathless. Like when they had been after their kiss before Charlotte’s death. Breathless like she was when she saw his true face. He gestured towards the faux fur and the cushions spread invitingly in front of the couch. She crossed the room, glad that her legs didn’t give in, as wobbly as they were. She had ignored how tall Lucifer was, but now it was coming back more evidently than ever. He was tall, strong and a confusing mixture of safe and terrifying. How couldn’t he hear her heartbeat? Wait. Could he hear her heartbeat? He crossed the room heading towards the bar to retrieve two plates. 

“Grilled cheese, your favourite”, he smiled, a nervous energy radiating around him, carrying two sandwiches towards her. She couldn’t help but grin, the tension seemed to bleed out of his shoulders as he saw her expression. “Not the fancy, smelly stuff”, he added with an amused undertone in his voice, “just the yummy, orange kind that you like.” He placed it in front of her and she couldn’t help but salivate and think back to the time when he was regularly breaking into her house, standing in her kitchen and eating Trixie’s sandwiches. 

“Thank you”, she said, smiling as he took a seat, trying to look as graceful as it could be in his suit. She could see his eyes soften as he reached to fill her wine glass. 

“There is something I’d like to say to you, Detective”, his voice and features so sincere, that it took her breath away, “Whilst I realise that knowing the truth about me may not be easy for you, I am glad that there are no secrets between us now.” _I am too._ God-fuck, not god. Hell. Hell, the way his gaze warmed her from the inside. “And if you have any more questions, I shall be happy to answer any and all of them. I have always been honest with you, Detective and I always will be.” 

“I know. And thank you, Lucifer”, she whispered, carefully reaching out to brush his fingertips with hers. His pupils widened. Fire. No. no fire. It was just Lucifer, just Lucifer. He cocked his head, having sensed her sudden change. 

“Detective? Are you all right?” 

She swallowed quickly and nodded. Be scared and do it anyway. “Yes, I am.” At his concerned look she couldn’t help but send him a quick smile. “I will be.” 

He flinched away, the distance between them palpable now. 

“Lucifer?”, her own voice rang questioningly through the silence now. She found him tensing again. 

“Right. Silly me. I forgot the music!”, he jumped up, heading towards the darkness of his bedroom, “I made a playlist full of bad nineties jam for you.” 

She sighed. There they were again. Running away from each other. As always. _Be scared and do it anyway._ He was always honest and now it was time for her to be too. 

“I was in Rome during my trip”, she raised her voice to overcome the drowning silence of the room. 

“I hear you, go on”, muffled the words floated out of the bedroom. She could see him in front of her inner eye, his fingers searching cupboards in a delicate manner only pianists could pull off. 

“Well, we did some sight seeing and Trixie ate her weight worth in gelato.” She could hear him chuckle. “And, you know, I was still processing things, so I went and did some research. About you.” She added after a short pause. 

He was emerging out of the dark again, eying her interestedly. “Did you now”, he grinned, “tell me, what does the church say about me?” 

Her features hardened and she couldn’t help but shake her head. “Horrible things, Lucifer. They… they depicted you to be everything humanity was ever afraid of. Gruesome and vicious and deadly. A beast. And then there was this priest, Father Kinley was his name. He actually wanted to convince me that you caused Nazi Germany.” Disbelief filling her voice. 

A barking laughter left his throat, filling the room with something she had horribly missed the last few months. 

“He- he did what now? Me? I”, he gasped for air, not being able to contain his amusement, “I merely wanted to see who the bastard was, who ensured hell was starting to overflow with souls who felt guilty over nothing and had to be freed from there”, he giggled, “I mean, I had to really do some work the first time in eons.” 

She forced a smile onto her lips. Him speaking of hell and it being real was unsettling. Still. He was so old… “How old are you?”, she blurted out. 

He sobered a bit, offering her a smirk, while he sat back down. 

“Take a guess, detective”, he winked. 

“Like, older than the earth I suppose, if you created the stars. I … you created the fucking stars.” She couldn’t help but gape at him. 

“The church does give me credit for that? Colour me surprised”, he murmured, taking a sip of his wine. 

“No. not exactly. I had a talk with a woman before I headed back home. She was … really sweet, you know. She could see that I was upset and so we talked for a bit. And she mentioned that. I still can’t believe it.” He gave her a look she couldn’t quite decipher, something between wrath and pride, “so tell me. How old are you?” 

“I came into being as the universe was created”, he said with grin, “You know, big bang is a quite fitting description actually.” 

“What?”, bewilderment filled her features. 

“You know, Detective, Mum and Dad and when they met…” 

She held out a hand, squeezing her eyes shut, “No, no stop. I changed my mind I don’t wanna know.” The laugh that rumbled within his chest made warmth fill her body all over again. 

“Any other questions, Detective?”, he grinned, winking, “Consider it a Q and A with the devil himself.” 

She chuckled, finally taking a bite of her sandwich, while soft tunes filled the penthouse. She eyed him. Intrigued. As he took a bite of his food, chewing with his eyes happily closed. It felt exactly as it did before. But there in the back of her mind the primal fear still lurched. 

“Mhm, so Amenadiel-“ 

“Is my big bro, indeed and an angel.” 

“Like with big wings and all?” 

“Yes with big wings and all. He is currently paying the silver city a visit. After Charlotte died he took matter in his own hands I believe.” 

“Oh”, hope tugged at the corners of her mouth, while grief rolled all over her once again and sent tears their way, “so she’s in heaven?” She couldn’t help but sound constricted. A soft hand brushed hers. Her skin tingling pleasantly. 

“Yes, Chloe”, softly Lucifer’s voice reached her ear, “And one day you will see her again.” 

She smirked through her blurry sight. “And you know that I am going there, why?” She couldn’t help but sound bitter. Now that she knew it was all real ,she didn’t even know whether she was good in god’s eyes at all. She hadn’t believed in him until a little more than a month ago. 

He snorted, “I won’t let you go anywhere else, Detective. Should you ever end up going to hell I would be the first to get you out of there and put your beautiful bum right in front of the silver city’s doors. Where you belong. You are truly good. I would know.” 

What came out of her mouth was a mixture of a strangled laugh and a watery snort. “But how…” 

“I am the devil, detective”, he stated lightly, “I will find a way, believe me.” She swallowed her tears and sighed. 

“Thank you, Lucifer.” 

“What ever for, Detective.” Chloe couldn’t help but roll her eyes. 

“I mean, for all of this”, she gestured at the food in front of her. 

“It’s not-“ 

“And for having my back and for … Lucifer when Malcom shot you, I… you… I saw you die. You died.” Damn. Why was she so fucking emotional today? 

“I did”, he agreed, locking their eyes, “but I am here, Detective. I got better. Dad helped me a tad though”, at her confused expression he continued, “I made a deal with him. I would bring Mum back to hell, in exchange for-“, he hesitated, dropping his gaze, before lifting it up again to meet hers, open and vulnerable, “for your safety.” She couldn’t stop her jaw from dropping. 

“You did what?” His dark brows furrowed. “You…Lucifer, you… you shouldn’t have.” 

“Well, I did”, he sounded defiant, “and I would do it again.” She buried her face in her hands. 

“And I said I hoped no one would ever love me that much to go to jail for me on that one case, remember?” 

“And then there’s your devilish partner who dies twice for you”, he chuckled. 

“Twice? _Twice_?”, she couldn’t help but sound hysterical now, her voice tripping over. 

“Detective, calm-”, he tried to say, avoiding her burning gaze sheepishly as if she carried hell’s flames herself. 

“When?”, the words cut through the room like a handcrafted Japanese knife. Her Mum owned one and damn that thing was sharp. 

A sigh, “when you got poisoned. I died and went back to hell to retrieve the formula for the antidote.” 

She could only stare at him and he took the lead, starting to explain, “It was the only way! And nothing could have gone wrong, the doctor helped me with the defibrillator.” 

“Linda helped!?”, she gasped. 

“Yes, of course she did”, he sounded irritated, “We wouldn’t have let you die.” 

“But you died instead!”, she protested, “Lucifer, you can’t just go out and put your life out on the line, only because I am in danger.” 

“You were going to die”, now it was his voice that was sharp and cold, “I couldn’t…you were going to die… not knowing that I would never see you again.” His chest was raising raggedly his dark eyes clouded. “I couldn’t.” 

“Okay”, she whispered, understanding- _like how I feel about you_ \- how the devil felt about her, “Okay, I understand.” 

Silence hung heavily between them, so she reached out and downed half her red wine, causing Lucifer to wordlessly fill up her glass again. Pictures of an empty penthouse danced across her mind again, her head feeling light and her throat tight. 

“But you left”, she mumbled, “And you came back with- with a stripper, no sorry an exotic dancer”, she imitated his accent, badly, causing his lips to twitch amusedly, “on your arm, announcing happily that you’re married after me worrying for weeks. For weeks, Lucifer.” Those damned tears. He sat more upright, his expression sincere now. 

“Detective, _Chloe_ ”, God- why did her name sound like a prayer from his lips? -, “I… I understand that you were and probably still are angry at me for that and I apologize. I am so, so very sorry. I didn’t intend to hurt you.” At her disbelieving snort he urged, “I truly am. I was hurt. I… my mother just had told me that you and me… _us_ ”, he swallowed heavily, his eyes shining, “that my father put you in my path to manipulate me. That… nothing was ever real between us.” 

What? _What?_

“Between Candy and me, we wanted to draw out my mother’s plan by getting married. She owed me a favour. We… never consummated our marriage. It was an arrangement, Chloe.” He wanted her to believe him. So badly. She took another sip of her wine. She just nodded. 

“Back to the part with your father meddling with our, well, our thing…. What the actual fuck?” 

“You are a miracle. Your parents couldn’t…” 

“Conceive a child, yes I know”, she interrupted him. 

“Amenadiel blessed your Mum and your parents got you. You are immune to my charms, you know? For a good reason”, he sounded bitter. 

“And that stops us from being real in how far?” 

“You have no control over your feelings…” 

“Excuse me what?” 

“No, Detective, I didn’t mean to oppose, it’s just that your feelings for me, they weren’t real. And that’s why I left. I wanted… I wanted to do right by you and give you a choice.” Defeat was evident in his features. 

“Lucifer”, she couldn’t help but roll her eyes, “that’s bullshit.” 

“What part of my father put you in my path didn’t you get?” 

“Aren’t you always whining about how humans have free will, but angels don’t and it being the reason you rebelled in the first place?”, she replied forcefully. How could one lack in simple logic? 

A nod was all she got. 

“So why wouldn’t I have free will too?” he looked stunned for a moment, like he hadn’t even considered that possibility. “So what if I am immune to your “charms”? Could it be to ensure my free will if I truly was put in your path?” 

His lips formed an “oh” as his brows furrowed again and the realization dawned on him. She sighed. 

“So, we’re real?” His voice trembled slightly from hope. 

“Whatever we are, Lucifer”, she smiled, “we are real.” The brilliant grin that tore his features wide open with joy warmed her heart. 

“You never considered that, huh?”, she chuckled. 

“I didn’t, to be frank.” How was he even more handsome in candlelight and a smile on his lips that eradicated the pain of the past? “let me get you some more wine”, taking her glass into his long fingers he filled it up again with deep red that remembered her of the scars in his face. A shudder ran along her spine. 

“Your face”, she started, not knowing where to go with it, but her tongue felt loose and light and daring. 

He waited, not sure what to expect. “Yes?” 

“Why – does it hurt?” 

He looked at her like she had hit her head. “Why would it, Detective?” 

“I dunno”, she mumbled, “It looks painful.” 

“Well, yes after my fall it did. Terribly so. The whole incineration part that comes with hell’s flames.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you were hurt. horribly.” 

“Well”, bitterness creeping through his lips, “that’s the price that comes with defying the “holy father”, I suppose.” He paused. “Love, you need to stop emptying your glass like that. Last time I checked, you didn’t have a supernatural metabolism like I do.” 

“Hm?”, her eyes found the last bit of red liquid dancing along the glass walls, “Oh. Well. Maybe you’re right.” She carefully placed her glass back. Alcohol made her feel less anxious, more daring. _Be scared and do it anyway._

“Lucifer?” 

“Yes, detective?” Hell- his voice, so warm and caring. She could do it. She could be honest with him. 

“Is it…”, she took a deep breath, “is it bad that I am still scared?” The words were barely above a whisper. 

“of what?”, he looked at her concerned, yet reassuringly. 

“Of…”, the words couldn’t leave her lips, but did anyway, “of you.” 

Hurt flashed across his features, evident and deep and it felt like her heart had stopped. His eyes shone and snapped shut at the same time. She wanted to say something, ease his discomfort, but she couldn’t. Red flashed through her mind. He was the devil. 

“Why?” It was so quite that she wasn’t sure whether she heard him correctly. 

“What?” 

“Why? Why are you scared of me, Chloe?”, his voice was steady now, but the tension in his body left him trembling so slightly she could have as well imagined it. 

“I don’t know”, she whispered, “I don’t know why I’m scared. I don’t want to be. But… but your face.” 

“It is terrifying. I know”, he murmured, “You are not supposed to find out that way. And you don’t have to witness it ever again.” 

She wrinkled her forehead. “Why?” 

“What?”, he looked at her like she grew a third eye out of the sudden. 

“Why am I not supposed to see it again?” 

“Because it scares you, detective”, he sounded so confused, “why would I ever show it to you again?” 

“Because it’s a part of you”, she protested, “that’s like, I don’t know, like I’d hide the scars of my gunshot wounds.” 

“It’s a bit more grave than gunshot scars I believe”, a snort. 

“Yeah, probably, but the point is, Lucifer. It doesn’t matter if I am scared... It shouldn’t stop you from being who you are around me. We are … well partners after all.” 

“But…”

“And”, and now she was truly doing the - be scared but fuck it and do it anyway - part, “and if we ever want to be more than you know, just partners, I need to be okay with all that you are. Even if it scares me at first.” 

Something changed. The darkness vanished out of his features and the candlelight showed something else. Something bright and small, but steadily growing. Their sandwiches lay between them, long forgotten, nothing but the soft sounds of a oh so familiar song floated through the air, leaving them bare, vulnerable in front of each other. In each other’s mercy. 

“Do…”, he cleared his throat, “Do you want to be more than partners, Chloe?” 

“Yes”, the word had never left her mouth that quickly, not even when Dan had proposed to her, not even then, “yes I’d like to try.” He stared at her, his eyes full of wonder. 

“Do… do you want to try?”, she asked sheepishly, suddenly slightly embarrassed of how fast she had agreed. But her worries dissolved into nothing as he answered. 

“Bloody hell, yes, Chloe”, he breathed, his cheeks tinted pink, “Yes. I’d like to try too.” She’d made the devil blush. The actual devil. His fingers reached for her hand, that she offered him, in an instant, intertwining their fingers. Warmth seeped through her whole body and suddenly the distance between them was too much. She struggled to her feet and her fingers out of his. Shocked he stared as if he expected her to run. But she crossed the distance between them and lowered herself beside him. 

“May I?”, she grinned cheekily as she looked up to him. 

“Always, Detective”, he mused, “but I see you have already taken your seat.” She nodded enthusiastically, before reaching for the sandwich suddenly starving. 

“This is really good, by the way”, she said through a mouth full of cheese and cold toasted bread. 

“I am glad you like it”, he smiled down at her, so softly that she felt like she was melting. 

“You’re really handsome”, she stated as she swallowed, causing him to laugh. 

“And you are adorably honest when you have had three glasses of wine”, he stated, carefully reaching around her waist. 

“Lucifer”, his gaze found hers, “I am not going to run, okay?” 

“Okay”, he breathed, pulling her closer to his side. After all those years of tension between them, them sitting close, eating grilled cheese sandwiches felt right. It felt familiar and safe as if nothing could come between them anymore. He was warm and steady and strong beside her, her partner, her devil in crime. She leaned into him, enjoying the sound of his heart beat against his chest, his scent of smoke and sandalwood and whiskey engulfing her. She felt her eyelids getting heavy, even though her whole body was tingling with excitement. 

“Detective?”, a murmur tore her out of sleep’s longing arms. 

“Hm?” 

“I can drive you home, if you want to. You’re falling asleep.” 

“No”, she mumbled. It was warm and safe here. 

“But your spawn is surely expecting you?” 

“At Dan’s”, she yawned, “can’t I stay here? Your bed is comfy.” 

“Stay here?”, she felt his heart speed up, “Oh, detective, I never knew…” 

“Oh shut it”, a tired chuckle left her lips. Of course. It was Lucifer. She had been waiting for a sexual innuendo, “It’s not like that.” 

“Very well, let’s get you to bed then.” 

They got up, rather clumsily, nearly knocking over a candle and lighting up the whole penthouse (flames of damnation are more hell’s thing, detective!) until she was finally sitting in those heavenly blankets. She sighed happily. 

“Do you want something different to wear? To be comfortable I mean.” 

“Mhm”, she grinned sleepily and could feel her heart leaping at his soft smile, “I don’t know what your shirts are made of, but they are really comfortable.” 

“Only the best of the best, detective. I’ll fetch you one, stay here.” 

“Oh, I am not going anywhere”, she sighed happily, snuggling into the silky fabric of his covers. His laugh filled her ears, even as he disappeared in his closet, before emerging only a few moments later. 

“There you go”, the shirt is cool against her skin, “I will give you a minute and I’ll join you later?” he’s standing in front of her, searching for approval. _It’s okay, if you don’t want to sleep in a bed with me,_ his eyes said, _I am glad you didn’t run,_ he tried to hide. 

“Sure”, her smile is enough and then he disappears in his walk-in closet – of course because he’s Lucifer, biggest Diva of all. He played monopoly in a three-piece suit. Who in hell’s name played Monopoly in a three-piece suit?? Her clothes were quickly stripped, and so is her bra, before she slipped into his shirt, his scent embracing her. She had always loved his smell, even though she didn’t want to admit it. Her fingers ran quickly along the buttons, before she climbed under the covers, contently cuddling the pillow. Her eyelids drifted close. A weight lowering the mattress next to her woke her out of her slumber. She turned around, her eyes still shut close, before she snuggled closer to the body next to her, until a warm and very naked chest made her lids snap open. 

“Are you-?”, she croaked. 

“I am wearing pants, detective”, the chuckle didn’t help at all to calm her heartbeat. Blood rushed into her cheeks, her hands still sprawled against his warm, naked skin. 

“You are so bloody adorable, Chloe”, he sighed, pressing a kiss onto her forehead. 

“I…”, why was she blushing? They were not even doing anything right now! It wasn’t like she hadn’t slept in a bed with a male partner before. But then it was Lucifer. She sighed. 

“What is it?” 

“Nothing. It’s just”, she put her head back so she could look at him. His features …loving in the dim light, “this isn’t weird, is it?” 

“Do you think it’s weird?” 

She licked her lips and saw his eyes dropping. “No”, it left her mouth huskier and more breathless than she had intended. 

“Good”, he murmured, slowly leaning towards her, “it feels like this is exactly where I am supposed to be to me.” 

“To me too”, she whispered, her heart racing as she reached up, cupping his cheek – his stubble rough against her skin- and pulling his face closer for his lips to meet hers. 

“ _Chloe_ ”, a prayer left him, murmured against her mouth, before their lips started caressing each other, him sneaking an arm around her waist to press her against his body. No. it wasn’t weird and it wasn’t terrifing either. She was exactly where she was supposed to be, with him. With the devil. Her devil in crime.


End file.
